my new blog

So.  My life.  My blog.  It's all new for me.  I'm not even exactly sure why I'm doing this except that I'm so disenchanted with sharing my thoughts on Facebook.  I guess I want to do it to sort of purge some of my thoughts, feelings, and observations of the life I've lived and the life I have yet to live.  I've never had a blog before.  I'm not even 100% sure how to do this.  I'll figure it out as I go along.  Plus... I kinda like the cool backgrounds this Blogger thing gives me :)

Why is it that in the 60s and 70s it was okay to go somewhere to "find yourself" but now in the 10s (is that how you do it?  or do you just say 'in 2011' or 'in the new Millenium?') it isn't okay to "find yourself?"  As women, especially, we are supposed to have it all figured out.  We're supposed to multitask, sleep less, work more, enjoy less, figure out every gadget (I still can't get the flashing 12:00 off of my VCR!), and know exactly who we want to be when we grow up.  Well, I'm outing myself.  I've found myself.  Finally.  And I've found that I'm still "finding myself" and enjoying the ride.

I have an addictive personality.  In my teens and early twenties, I was addicted to sex.  It was loads of fun but it became mundane after a while.  Then I just became addicted to relationships...then BAD relationships.  Perhaps that's where my addiction to alcohol and other drugs came in during my late twenties and early thirties: a way to cope with my addiction to abusive relationships.  Or perhaps being in an abusive relationship where I was addicted to being treated like shit caused the alcohol and drug abuse.  No matter.  I'm addicted to ME now.  I've sworn off the bad relationships and overindulgence in all things bad.  I'm addicted to all things GOOD now. 

I still have an addictive personality.  But now I'm using it for some good..... I mean, anyone who knows me knows that I can't do anything halfway!  Instead of volunteering at a soup kitchen... I have to travel halfway around the world to Africa to volunteer as a medical missionary and help feed the world!  Instead of cooking for friends, I have to turn it into a catering business....however, my true love is cooking for my friends and watching the enjoyment on their face.  My garden can't be a couple tomato plants; it has to be 48 plants of numerous varieties.  You get the idea... go big or stay home!

So that's my present state of being.  Only now I'm comfortable with my addictive personality.  She and I have become friends.  I'm embracing my inner addict.  I'm addicted to my current NON-abusive and loving relationship.  I'm addicted to being the best mother I can be to the most wonderful five year old boy on the planet.  I'm addicted to travel.  I'm addicted to eating healthy and feeding my soul.  I'm in love with yoga and pilates and Indian food.  I'm addicted to turmeric and cumin.  I'm addicted to re-reading the classics.  I'm addicted to all things spiritual.  I'm addicted to helping my loved ones achieve their dreams.  I'm addicted to dreams!  I'm addicted to being the best and most well rounded person I can be.  I'm using my addictive personality to charge ahead full throttle with a new fitness regimen.  (By the way...just bought a pair of Saucony Guide running shoes and they are literally the BOMB!  Love them!)

You know....we've all read the self help books, signed up for email reminders to exercise, eat well, save the whales, hug a tree, sign a petition, attended seminars to help us quit this or that or feel this way or that.... well, I'm just a 40-something chick who is finally figuring out that none of those books, emails, blogs, self-help seminars, or tarot card readers have MY LIFE figured out.  I'm the one who has to figure out what makes sense for my life.

So it begins.  Join me if you like.  Add your comments, encouragements, funny stories, or just say hey!  Or just take a seat and watch my "so-called life" through my blogs.

Peace